A reflective time

Christmas approaches. Wild purchasing everywhere. Shops competing with bigger and bigger discounts and price matching. Harassed looking parents with bulging supermarket trolleys and reluctant children in tow. A sense of desperation almost in the air. Will we get it all done in time?

So there’s all of that. And there’s also all around me people talking fondly of family time over Christmas, the board games dusted down from the year before, giggling at the stories that get remembered every Christmas, watching favourite old movies and laughing or shedding a tear in the same places. Lovely to hear people at work talking about this time with young families or the first Christmas their grown up children will be coming home for the celebrations.

Others are planning to help out at the various homeless charities to make a contribution. While others again just ignoring the whole thing.

For us it’s part of a family coming together to make this as good a first Christmas after my mother’s death as we can for our father. Going somewhere different, a country cottage, board games, Christmas pudding, a decorated tree and a visit to the nearby church for some. The first of a new way to celebrate Christmas and be a family.

Mum never was a great fan of Christmas though she liked having her family about her. I remember her making mince pies while listening to Kings College Cambridge choirs singing carols on the radio. The aroma soon filling the house. The first bite while one was still warm. Unforgettable. I can almost smell and taste it now.

We will remember her this first Christmas without her and think of others who will be missing people they love too. It’s a tough time for many. And as Dad lights the indoor fireworks, an old indulgence of his, we’ll remember mum’s disgust at the annual smelly event and her loud sighed “Oh Timothy… Must you?” .

We’ll be looking back fondly and missing mum. Yet we will also be building our new way of spending Christmas, different bits of the family, new memories, new stories with our father. Precious times.

Wishing you all well over this holiday time whatever it means for you.

11 thoughts on “A reflective time”

  1. Like the points you make and share many of the feelings. We enjoy family ‘get togethers’ over the holiday period. But I have to admit to a personal dread of Christmas….not sure why or what brings it on, but from a young age have always had this deep inner feeling of disquiet. Get New Year over and I am back to normal (what ever that is?!). I should add that I am no scrooge just that feeling within effects me.

    1. Ah yes I can completely understand that. For me it’s New Year that brings that forth for me… Such a strange experience to feel like that when surrounded by others who feel so differently! This whole period is so laden with expectations about what people should do and feel ….
      Thank you for responding!

  2. All the best to you at this precious time. Although it will be hard you seem to have a good attitude and looking at the positives, so remember the good times and enjoy your time together. I know our family Christmas will be different this year as we too miss a loved one for the first time. Nice of you to share your story and be kind enough to think of others.

  3. What a lovely post Susi. This time of the year is always the hardest, I think, when we celebrate Christmas without those you have left us. I miss my Grandmother very much, especially at Christmas time, but she always told me to enjoy every single minute of my life. Yes, it will be tough but life carries on and so must we all.
    Wishing you and your family a peaceful and healthy Christmas. Seasons greetings.

  4. I so enjoyed this post. In it you speak for all of us with our treasure-load of memories, laughter, and loss at his time of year. You expressed the Christmas jumble of feelings so well. Thank you.

  5. Those indoor fireworks sound interesting. I hope someone says your mother’s words out loud, because you will all be thinking them. Oh heck, I’m tearing up at the thought and I don’t even know you. I’ve been following you for some time, but never get back around to visiting here. Take care.

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